How Often Do You Lie?
We all now know (especially if you read our blog frequently) that we lie everyday. Most of our lies are white lies and harmless enough or are they?
According to Dennis Merritt Jones, a Huffington Post author, keynote speaker and spiritual mentor, some of those white lies are harmful and holding us prison.
In his article, “You Lie More Often Than You Think” he suggests that we are conflicted between what we really think or want and our desire to not risk the disapproval of others.
Dennis describes an assignment he once gave to his students in a relationship class. He required them to go one week communicating exactly what they were thinking and feeling to those they came in contact with such as their family, spouses, friends and even strangers. The exercise revealed that many people are challenged in their ability to be honest.
He also points out that Buddha taught that attachment is at the root of all suffering. This can mean attachment to anything: a person, a job, a relationship, exercise, acceptance etc. Saying ‘No” to someone can be done without harm to you or the person who is requesting something of you. Just remember when you say “no”, it is not what you say but how you say it.
He goes on to quote Ralph Waldo Emerson, “The only sin that we never forgive in each other is a difference in opinion.” His advice, ‘Explain to them [the person asking something of you] that you are not rejecting them, only their request. Know who you are and be free.’
The article goes on to ask these important questions:
Are you free to have a difference of opinion with others and express it without fear? Can you say no without fear? And do you offer others the same freedom to say no to you without sending them on a guilt trip?
So, what are your answers? Are you truly free in your relationships?